Starving Actor's Loft in Harlem

2007-07-25T16:53:00.001-04:00

Post #99

2007-06-24T00:07:00.000-04:00

I am sure no one reads this, but this is my last post on this Blog.

I am moving out of Harlem next weekend. Out of the state actually. All the way up to Portland Maine. While life changes have made this move necessary, I have to say I am not going to miss Harlem.

I may miss the idealistic nature I had when I moved up here over 2 years ago, but that feeling has been gone for a while. Harlem I am afraid is blowing up with crime this summer. It always gets bad in the warm weather, and it might just be that I am more aware of it, so I can't stay here.

So it's off to New England, off to a new life. You have been my home for 7 Years New York City.

Take care you bitter old Bitch.

And.

Goodbye Blog.

New Blog

2007-03-25T19:31:00.001-04:00

http://whendiditleaveus.blogspot.com/

Across the Universe

2007-02-15T23:57:00.000-05:00

This may be the best movie ever*

Grammy Night

2007-02-11T22:10:00.000-05:00

I would like to be the first to coin the insult name, "Fatscal Ratts."

I'm Back for Now

2007-02-09T22:06:00.000-05:00

I made this.

Amazing.

Big Things

2006-10-04T10:47:00.000-04:00

I have extreemly big news coming up soon.

And I think all 3 of you that read this are going to be excited that this blog is back!

Fear Factor

2006-05-30T11:58:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday I jumped out of an airplane at 13500 feet. That is almost 11 Empire state Buildings.
If you know me you know that I hate flying. I don't like the idea that I am not in control if something goes wrong, so this was a big deal for me.

I showed up to the airfield at Skydive Sussex in NJ at 11 am hoping that they would tell me that I wasn't allowed to jump. And that is exactly what they said. They told us that the President was in the area and we were grounded for another hour. But the people I was with were going to jump so we waited it out.

While we were waiting we got our training which lasted about 15 min. 10 min of instruction and 5 min of staring at the Plane that looked like the spaceship in SpaceBalls.

After that you just wait. By the time I got into my harness and belted in the plane my heart was going crazy. But all of the sudden a strange calm came over me.

I was nervous but not scared. I was the last one out of the plane I walked forward 15 feet, and I was going 120 mph but I wasn't screaming. We had been told to make sure you enjoy your freefall, because most people panic and don't look around so I forced myself to look around. It was amazing. I saw a cloud below me and 3 seconds later I was in the middle of it. I WAS IN A FUCKING CLOUD!

When we got to 5000 feet, my instructor put my left hand, which had an altimeter on it, in front of my face. I reached on my hip, and pulled the rip cord, and never once did I have the thought that the parachute wouldn't open. Which looking back seems like one of the first steps that I was overcoming Fear.

I pulled and the parachute opened.

I was now 5000 feet above the earth and it is completely quiet. The world looks like a model train set. I began to feel a little motion sick because of the floating feeling, so I opted out of steering the chute and doing 360's. But I did have a brief conversation with my instructor which was crazy to me. I didn't think we would be able to talk but it we could carry on a normal conversation.

He pointed out the airfield and talked about how great his job was and then I just sat in silence for 2 min as we came down.

I had a feeling of calm, of pride, of shock, of luck, and also of insignificance. We are so tiny compared to the world, but also we are lucky to be part of something so beautiful.

We landed on the ground and I had successfully jumped out of an airplane.

WTF!

Ja Rule's TunaMeltdown

2006-05-24T09:34:00.000-04:00

They are opening this restaurant in my neighborhood soon.

Check out the menu the names are ridiculous!

I like the desert called Mariah's Melons.

Achievement!

2006-04-28T09:23:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a personal best of 213 in bowling.

Not until my bonus frame did I leave pins standing.

Yeah, I'm that good.

Hush!

2006-04-25T11:41:00.000-04:00

When I was 3, this would have blown my mind.

I made it on Gawker (kind of)

2006-04-20T17:48:00.000-04:00

The last blog on this Bloggorrhea Post.

Exit Light Enter Night

2006-04-18T14:18:00.000-04:00

I have been playing my roommate's guitar about an hour a day trying to get better. Today I taught myself Nothing Else Matters from the Metallica black album.

I finally caught up with all the cool kids in my middle school.

Sharks and Jets

2006-04-18T13:59:00.000-04:00

Does anyone else's movie theater have a "no gang hat colors" disclaimer between the "Buy Popcorn" And "Silence is Golden" disclaimers?

Should I be worried?

Lestat The Musical Review

2006-04-06T12:23:00.000-04:00

Last night I had the honor to attend one of the WORST Broadway shows ever. I had a free ticket so I was very excited about seeing it. I had the feeling that I was going to see crappy theater history like Carrie the Musical, or Good Vibrations. I would like to know from people that saw Carrie how they rank this show against it.

Many people believe Carrie to be the worst Broadway show of all time. It only ran a total of 21 times. 16 previews and 5 performances. To put that in perspective The Phantom of the Opera has played 16 previews and 7581 performances as of April 2, 2006.

The music is boring. The acting by the title Character is non existent. And the show just lacks focus.

There are a few shining moments.

First is Allison Fischer. She plays Claudia and she ROCKS! This kid can't be more then like 13 and she can sing better than anyone you can throw at me.

Go ahead give me a name.

Yup she sings better then them.

Ok I might be over exaggerating but there is so much crap in Lestat when there is anything good it looks amazing.

Also Carolee Carmello acts her ass off for what she has been given, which is a confusing piece of shit.

If you can get free tickets, go see it. If not wait and see if they film it for the Lincoln Center Archive, and then go see it. Go see 19 million dollars worth of shit. "Wolf Killer!"

Look at the Date!

2006-04-05T11:14:00.000-04:00

It is snowing right now in NYC.

The world is ending.

Don't Tell Mrs. Belding

2006-03-26T14:29:00.000-05:00

I would like to thank David Cho for inviting me to the Birthday Party at the UCB last night where I saw Dennis Haskins hanging out with Gavin DeGraw.

I think it was really unnerving for every 20 something there that watched Saved by the Bell, to see him hovering around a Keg. Almost like the sight of that was ripping childhood memories of Saturday morning TV out of everyone's head.

I hope Lark Voorhies is doing ok.

Branching Out

2006-03-20T10:16:00.000-05:00

Please Head over to my new blog for a look.

Update... I think this link was broken but I fixed it.

Sons and Daughters Review

2006-03-09T10:13:00.000-05:00

I'll write more on this later...

But I liked it.

Hiss Tree

2006-02-22T00:52:00.000-05:00

First click this.

I found this picture on a search for Dulaney pictures on Flickr. When I saw it I was like "Huh, that's funny". But then it hit me about how awesome of a tradition this is.

Now I know it makes me sound like one of those people that can't get past high school, but I am proud.

7 coats below the paint on that rock is my signature. That is crazy.

But what really got to me was that 34 coats down my Mom's signature was on there too.

I wonder why I didn't think about that the day I painted the rocks?

UPDATE!!! for the past week or so this blog has sat with the word Flickr spelled with an "E" before the "R" which is incorrect. Thanks to Cho I fixed it and now everthing is OK.

E.V.O.O.!!!!!!1

2006-02-20T15:57:00.000-05:00

I kept thinking to myself, "Why do I hate Rachel Ray so much?" And the answer came to me.

When a child actor get to be 11 or 12 years old they become aware that they can make people laugh by being completely over the top and inappropriate. And this is what Ray does.

In researching this post I came across this site .

I like that they call her a "Raytard".

New in the Oh Six

2006-02-14T17:23:00.000-05:00

I am really curious about the people that visit this blog from random search inquiries, such as "Frenchie Davis Tits" or the .08% referred from the word "gay".

So this goes out to anyone I don't know that stumbles on this blog.

I want to hear from you.

Like a pen pal program I want to know a little about you. So if you accidently come across this blog, leave a comment about Who you are, how old you are, what you were looking for when you came here? what you think of how helpful this blog was in your search for Ms. Davis' tits.And any other tid bits you want to share.

If you don't have blogger, email me davidsurkin@gmail.com

Look forward to hearing from you.

UPDATE: After 1 week no responses. Ouch!

Blizzard February '06 Part 2 or You Did It God!

2006-02-12T17:15:00.000-05:00

Screw you grandma! Our storm was way bigger!

Blizzard Feb 2006!

2006-02-12T11:02:00.000-05:00

This joke coming tonight and tomorrow to Caroline's Comedy Club.

Comedian: Wow, there hasn't been this much white powder in New York since the 80's.

What an asshole.

2006-02-10T12:05:00.000-05:00

Kanye West should not be aloud to talk to the press because he comes off like a huge douche bag.

It Came Back!

2006-02-09T18:16:00.000-05:00

Ever since I was a little kid I have loved movies. I would say my average growing up was one a day. And by that I mean I would watch 7 movies a weekend.

Recently though, I have had no desire to see movies. And if I went to the movies I was usually not as excited as I used to be. I was worried that I had ruined myself by working on movie sets. I mean once you see behind the curtain, how scary is the Wizard?

But I just saw a trailer for Film Geek. I am really excited about this movie. And I am so thankfull I live in NYC, one of 2 cities showing it.

I'll write again about this after I see it.

Also...

Let's talk about Joanna Levesque. Or as you like to call her JoJo. She is in 2 movies coming out this year and from what I have seen she is the best actress in both of them. And she is in a movie with Academy Award Winner, Robin Williams.

Cho has Lohan, I have JoJo. No one else can have her!

Good Night, And Good Luck

2006-02-08T18:38:00.000-05:00

Do yourself a favor and buy this album.

Tab Energy ROCKS!

2006-01-31T17:37:00.000-05:00

I got this little gem for FREE with my Fresh Direct shipment last night and I was a bit wary.

I felt like I was at the Maryland State Fair when I was in High School and I just discovered the Josta booth.

Remember Josta?

I was excited and scared all at the same time. Tab itself is a mediocre cola that my Mom used to drink back in the 80's. It was the first diet cola from Coca Cola. The only good thing about original Tab is it was Steve Martin's favorite drink in "The Jerk". He thought he was black. HA HA HA!

So here I am faced with this Tab Energy. I crack it open and I take a sip.

WOWEY ZOWEY!

It tastes just like a Cherry Jolly Rancher! With a little sweetener after taste. It was so good I wanted another right away. But I didn't have one so now I am jonesing for some more Tab energy!

This would be a much better addition to your Vodka at a bar then Red Bull.

Coca Cola, please email me at davidsurkin@gmail.com so that I may be your sponsor, or at least tell you where to send the free Tab Energy for such an amazing review.

Love Monkey Music

2006-01-25T15:30:00.000-05:00

I'll be the first to say that Love Monkey is not the best new show on television right now. But it has a few things going for it.

1. Jason Priestly- From the way people talk about this guy on set and the way he acts I would say that he is up there with Chuck Norris. I mean he hit a wall going 180mph in a sports car and still is "way hot!"

2. The "Ed" factor- A lot of people really dug that cooky comedy and if they all come over to the Monkey it will do well.

3. The Music- This is the main reason that I think this show could do well. They are having a lot really great musicians on the show.

On set yesterday we filmed a scene with Martin Luther. I suggest you check out his song Prodigal Son which is on his Rebel Soul Music CD and featured on the episode of Love Monkey.

The Man gave one of the best perfomances I had ever seen and he was lip syncing to playback. He had 100 extras rocking out so hard that the director had to tell them to drop it down a little because they were shaking the cameras too much. And this was after we had been there for 10 hours.

So in summation. There is a good chance that Love Monkey is going to get canceled. But Martin Luther Rocks!

My Mom Will Be Proud

2006-01-25T13:49:00.000-05:00

If you look up Starving Actor on Google. I am #2!

But since #1 is an article about Tivo, I am going to go ahead and consider myself, The #1 Starving Actor in the world!

Vs.

2006-01-24T10:20:00.000-05:00

David Cho has proposed that the American version of The Office has surpassed the BBC version.

And to him I say Nay!

I am proposing that David and I have a debate. Podiums, rebuttals, the whole works. I never took a debate class, and I am sure that he probably did, so I could easily lose. But I will do my best to not...Lose.

So to you, Mr. Cho. I throw down the gauntlet and will taunt you in blog posts until you decide to debate me.

Good day sir.

Brokeback Harlem

2006-01-22T21:11:00.000-05:00

I was walking on 125th Street to go to my show last night and I passed the usual bootleg movie guys on the street. This is how it went.

Bootleg Guy: I got bootleg! Bootleg. I got Last Holiday. Queen Latifah. I got...

guy looks up and notices me walking by

Bootleg Guy: I got Brokeback Mountain. ( Stares at me )

I laughed. Even though he implied I was gay, I thought it was an original insult.

Ummmmm...?

2006-01-21T00:57:00.000-05:00

This should be a short investigation.

I don't like this.

2006-01-16T23:18:00.000-05:00

At around 11pm I started smelling that Maple Syrup Smell .

I don't like it at all. Not only is the unknown scary. But it smells bad to me. I don't like the smell of extra sweet things. So I am not pleased right now.

more to come with this...

URGENT JEERS!

2006-01-16T20:09:00.000-05:00

Jeers to the Golden Globes Opening Pussycat Dolls remix. It was the worst opening to an awards show ever.

This Old House

2006-01-16T19:30:00.000-05:00

My apartment was scouted today for possible use in a Lil' Wayne video.

Few people know that Lil' Wayne invented the term, " Drop it like it's hot."

Well Cho probably did.

UPDATE

They chose a different house. That's the life when you are living the dream like I am.

Tech Support

2006-01-13T17:46:00.000-05:00

So last week I happened to destroy the 2 electronic devices I use the most.

I dropped my cell phone, breaking off the flip top so it was dangling by a copper thread.

The next day I was drinking a glass of water reading some blogs. I stand up and my computer chair swings around and knocks over the glass of said water.

Have you ever seen your screen literally melt away?

So after my computer dried it came back on, but the keyboard was fried, so I bought a new external keyboard.

Anywell, I got a new cell phone and I can blog again. So all's well that ends well.

To Those Who Care...

I start in the NYC Prom this Saturday the 14th!

If you go to the website my name is up under the NYC cast. This is the single biggest day for me in terms of my carrer.

Help!

2006-01-05T01:33:00.000-05:00

LOST!

One Twenty Dollar Bill!

Lost Between Broadway and Leonard Street, and 128th and Lenox Ave.

Has Andrew Jackson on the front!

Reward if found!

Moon Over Baltimore

2006-01-04T12:55:00.000-05:00

Back when I was doing the Prom in Baltimore I had a little run in with the Local Police Department.

In the script of my show we drive around the theater in a limo and yell at people waiting to go into the show. At some poing my character was supposed to moon those people.

One night I mooned and a cop pulled up to the limo and gave me a "stern alkin' to." Where he basically said I was going to jail for mooning.

Well it turns out I sould have stuck my ass right in his face.

Happy New Year!

2006-01-01T00:10:00.000-05:00

Watching Dick Clark this year was sad. His stroke has really affected his speach.

But on a happy note I feel like the fact that every person celebrates the coming of a New Year is one of the great things about people. When most of the time we fear what is to come, New Years is the time most people say, " Bring it on!"

I tend to pick a motto of the year that rhymes with the year we're going into.

This year:

Get my kicks, in 2006!

I will use that to make this a year of fun.

Also I thought it would be cool to have a blog post in the first 15 minutes of 2006.

Review of Matchpoint

2005-12-29T22:43:00.000-05:00

*

I went and saw Matchpoint tonight with Ricky, Morgan, Aziz, and every Jew on the Upperwest Side, which is redundant. Ricky, Morgan, and Aziz being Jewish.

I liked the movie a lot but I found myself distracted at times by the art of film making.

SPOILER ALERT(highlight to read below)

A girl in the movie orders a Champagne Cocktail. Which we all know is Champagne, Sugar and Bitters. But I kept staring at the glass wondering what they used to make it look like Champagne Cocktail since they don't use alcohol on sets. Isn't that frustrating?

Anyway I give the movie 1 Star out of 1.

On an unrelated note. Thanks to a certain SNL skit the Lincoln Center Movie theater was packed tonight. Thanks a lot SNL for making me say this seat is taken 47 times tonight while Ricky was buying Popcorn.

*photo joke by Aziz

Today is Pepper Pot Day

2005-12-29T12:35:00.000-05:00

This traces back to America’s early history (supposedly): In Valley Forge, during the bitter winter of 1777-1778, hunger soared and hope quailed in America's poor Continental Army. General Washington asked his cook to feed his men at any cost. With only scraps of tripe from the butcher and a handful of peppercorns, the cook produced a hearty soup - the creation of Pepper Pot Soup. Celebrate with a pot of thick, hot and somewhat spicy soup today. Most people now substitute chicken, beef or shrimp for the tripe.

People also dont know that Pepper Pot is David Cho's favorite food!

Do you like my new font???

I Wonder What A Soldering Iron In Your Mouth Feels Like?

2005-12-24T09:29:00.000-05:00

Check out this Wikipedia article about the founder of Kwanzaa.

Now I'm not sayin'... I'm just sayin'.

More like Brad RenfrNO!

2005-12-23T15:13:00.000-05:00

I don't know why I think this photo is so funny.

Hat's Off to People Magazine for getting it right back in 1995. "Top 30 Under 30!"

I still can't stop laughing. And if you look close it looks like that Police Officer cuffing him can't as well.

My First Christmas Tree

2005-12-21T17:46:00.000-05:00

There are also no Ornaments. I feel like this is what my parents tree looked like back in the 80's.

Strike

2005-12-21T17:29:00.000-05:00

There is a song called "Christmas Shoes".

Click here to read the lyrics.

First, to me it sounds like the guy is getting scammed by this kid.

Second. Christians are supposed to be humble. Not go around bragging about good deeds.

Just so you know...

2005-12-13T16:32:00.000-05:00

I am just posting this to let everyone know that today I am working a TRIPLE!

That's right MO FOs. Not a double but a triple.

Im actually crying about it a little bit.

I Guess I'll Buy My Mom A Black Light and a Bob Marley CD for Christmas

2005-12-12T21:15:00.000-05:00

So for those of you that aren't friends with me, My Mom has MS.

She has been feeling pretty bad lately so I started doing some research on MS to see if there was anything. I was looking on Wikipedia and there is some belief that cannabis is a good way to help with symptoms.

So I called up my Mom. And this is how the conversation went.

Me: Hey! You should smoke pot!
Mom: Why?
Me: This website says studies find that pot can help with motor functions.
Mom: Oh really?
Me: Yeah!
Mom: Well I'll have to try it.

It was the weirdest conversation I have ever had with my Mom. But it also felt really adult.

Also if you are reading this and you are against Stem Cell Research. I have one thing to say to you.

FUCK YOU CUNT!

Ooops!

2005-12-11T09:09:00.000-05:00

I know. I haven't blogged in way over a month.

The weirdest part.

I have been thinking about blogging, but I felt like it had been so long my blog would be mad at me.
Well blog here I am. I'm sorry I neglected you again.

Now lets have makeup sex and continue our on again off again relationship.

Harajuku Is For Me

2005-11-02T23:15:00.000-05:00

I went to the November 1st, 2005 concert of The BlackEyed Peas and Gwen Stefani at Madison Square Garden. This is my Review.

Gwen was fun and sang well.

That's all I really have to say about her. She sang an unreleased song called Orange County Girl that I really liked but other than that I find her solo to not be my cup of tea.

Let's talk about BEP for a second.

I know what you are thinking. Sell outs right? And all I have to say to that is WHO GIVES A SHIT?!

They are still really talented and hardcore live. And before they sold out they would never have gotten James Brown on stage with them. That's right the Godfather of Soul was there to sing They Don't Want Music off the new album.

Just seeing James shuffle on stage was well worth me going to the concert. Seeing this jogged my memory. Didn't I see Cameron Diaz pass me earlier? I leaned to Morgan and said, "I bet you Timberlake is here."

Where Is The Love started and after a fake out with the first chorus, Good ole JTT, Justin Thomas Timberlake, came out and finished up the song with them. They than went into My Style from the Monkey Business album which also has JTT and JTT Beat Boxing. ROCK!

I don't feel gay at all when I say I LOVE TIMBERLAKE.

The 2 other things that complete the evening.

1. Lohan was there. ( I didn't see her, but I smelled her)

2. They had a screen you could send a text message to and get your text up on it. I got one up there. As well as a few funny people that were texted about Hal Sparks.

PS. I love seeing concerts in NYC. It seems that people feel like they need to kick things up a notch so they Bring in super star surprise guests!

Boy, Two, Saw Saw Two

2005-10-31T16:23:00.000-05:00

I went to the movies last night and the film I viewed was Saw 2. I wrote the sentence that way in an effort to avoid saying see saw, or saw saw.

The movie made me poop my pants twice and pee my pants 3 times, and I think there was blood at least once. Oh yes there was blood. HAHAHAHAHAHA! ( That's the movie's tag line)

Any WHO!

What I am going to talk about is why people in Harlem are Harder Than You!

I saw probably 5 Toddlers at Saw 2 last night. That is right 5 children under the age of 4 at this movie. There were probably 50 kids under 13.

I figured I was in for some screaming kids the entire time. And as the opening scene starts the screaming began. And that screaming was from me! These kids didn't say a word. And I looked at them after the movie and they were smiling like they just saw Wallace and Gromit.

So if you think that people in Harlem are tougher than you. You are right. And so is their 3 year old daughter.

Weekend Update

2005-10-23T00:16:00.000-04:00

I just want to be the first blogger to say that Pep Walters, Blind Prop Comic, is one of my favorite SNL characters of all time.

Fred Armisen. Thanks for the laughs.

Dave vs. Tom Cruise

2005-10-21T11:47:00.000-04:00

Last night I decided to finally read a book I bought for a quarter last summer.

That Book is Dianetics.

I am just in the set up stage right now. The beginning steps of my brainwashing. It starts in the forward. He tells you not to skip over words you don't know. To make sure you look them up. Than proceeds to use words he made up in every sentence after that. At least I think he made them up. I didn't bother looking them up. But I had never seen them before and I have read a lot of Cliff's notes.

So now as I am only on page 2 ( I fell asleep) I will keep going on my "adventure" as the book keeps telling me on. There better be choices at the bottom of each page to either go into the haunted house go to page 35. Run away like a sissy go back to page 2.

So every so often I will document my efforts to not become a Scientologist while reading this book.

Wish me luck.

WTF Alert!

2005-10-17T23:54:00.000-04:00

As if this picture isn't WTF worthy enough.

This is a picture of Lynx and Lamb. They are twins and they are singers. One plays the violin and one plays the guitar. And did I mention they sing covers of White Power songs?!?!?!?!?!?!?1

I was watching Monday Night Football cheering Payton on to throw 20 touchdowns so that I can win my second Fantasy Game and there was a Primetime Live Preview about these twins.
I imediately ran to the Dell and Google searched for these two.

I uncovered they are a band called Prussian Blue.

I found the picture above on their blog. It turns out they did some modeling for Aryan Wear. I was so shocked by all of this that I pissed my pants and drank an entire bottle of hot sauce to feel something other than shocked.

I at first thought this was going to be a funny subject but the scary factor way overpowered the humor when I saw how serious they were.

I would like to extend an invitation for these little Hitlers to come do a concert at a block party at my apartment in Harlem.

Don't worry I'll get all my neighbors to come.

CUNTS!

Post From an Estranged Blogger

2005-10-14T16:47:00.000-04:00

I have had plenty to write about but traveling back and forth from Baltimore to NYC has zapped all blogergy.

That is a word that means energy to blog.

I made that word up.

Update: Turns out, though I did make that word up in my world, others have also made it up. But I feel that my use is the most useless version. Thank you.

The Road to Super Bowl XL

2005-09-26T02:49:00.000-04:00

Congrats to the Ridgely Middle Stags for winning their first game this season!

And they did it without the Monday Night Game!

Jet Blue My Mind

2005-09-23T11:21:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking about how amazing the Jet Blue landing was two days ago.

I hate flying, but it is good to hear a story about a pilot that has the talent and skill to land a plane like that.

I used to date a flight attendant and the stories she would tell me about pilots did not help to reassure me about flying.

But if I fly I will choose Jet Blue because of that Pilot.

Total Eclipse of the High School Crush

2005-09-19T00:16:00.000-04:00

I had a girlfriend for 3/4 of my high school life and I am pretty confident she doesn't read this blog so I am going to talk about a crush I had in high school unbeknownst to her. (and if she does read this, I swear it was just a crush nothing happened baby, I swear! It's not what it looks like!)

I went to Karaoke night two days ago at a restaurant bar in my hometown. The singing was just as bad as the atmosphere. And all of the song choices were slow and boring.

I decided to bring the party with a rousing rendition of the jersey classic Livin' on a Prayer. After I sufficiently get the bar into a mild frenzy which quickly cooled off with a particularly bad interpretation of a Jesus Christ Superstar song. I noticed a girl across the bar that I had had a crush on in high school. She still had the same face but with about 30 lbs of excess head around it. And my perception of people I knew in high school changed instantly.

I always figured these untouchable girls were off making movies or doing something with themselves, and that there is no way they would be drinking 3 dollar Bud Lights at a dive bar on Karaoke night. But there she was in all her Un-glory sucking back tall boys singing along to the Shoop Shoop Song.

Now it didn't disappoint me, so much as it picked me up. I realized how lucky I have been to move to NYC. Do a ton of Theater and Film work. And it made me happy that the only reason I was in that bar at all was because I was in town to do my first really big professional show.

Not everyone at the bar made me feel this. I don't hold these standards for my friends that were there. They are doing things with their life and like my friend Liz just chose to stay in the area to do it.

But there was something different about this girl. I could tell by the way she carried herself that this wasn't quite what she had planned for her life.

I know I am probably reading into it and I am probably wrong. But to this "hot girl:" Thanks for gaining weight and not doing what I pictured you doing. I don't feel as bad that we never dated.

Also Keith can really wail on LA Woman.

In Memoriam

2005-09-11T00:27:00.000-04:00

Today is the four year anniversary of September 11th. That is so crazy to me. There are a lot of things about 2001 that seem like forever ago but not that day.

Everything there is to say about 9/11 sounds so cliche. And God knows that my hatred for "I'm Proud to Be An American" , the song, not the sentiment, was solidified in the weeks afterward.

I was going to put my "Where were you" story here. I even wrote about 6 paragraphs of it and it drained me. So I deleted it.

I don't know if anyone reading this remembers 9/11/02. The one year anniversary. I was moving to Manchester, NH. From NYC. I had my car and my Uhaul. I drove the Uhaul and Erika my girlfriend at the time drove my car. And it was windy. So windy in fact that it blew my Uhaul into the other lane, not exaggerating, a few times. They were even talking about it on the radio. One person said that it was all of the Souls of those lost the year before. And it was very poetic and moving.

I think that my point of this post other than getting things off my mind is I hope that 4 years later some of those souls, and the ones that are still with us that lost those souls, have found some sort of peace.

My "Weekend Update" Skit

2005-09-03T14:20:00.000-04:00

Camera pans from Tina Fey to me.

Dave: I just recently finished filming two days with Angelina Jolie. In a related story, I had a perpetual boner for two days.

audience does not laugh

Camera back to Tina Fey.

Bleh

2005-09-03T14:14:00.000-04:00

Ever since Cho moved out my spirit for blogging has dropped considerably.

I mean I have lots of stories about filming with Angelina Jolie, but I am just too much in a funk to post.

I guess this post is a start.

Carrot Top has been plotting his revenge.

2005-08-24T23:27:00.000-04:00

I may be late on this Carrot Top is ripped thing, but I can't see a picture like this and not say anything.

I guess he is training to start using heavier props.

Please leave your own witty commentary in the comment section.

Sarajevo's Child

2005-08-24T14:36:00.000-04:00

Sarajevo's Child is a play that my friend Katie Simon wrote that is in the NY International Fringe Festival.

This is a link to a Review. It's the 3rd one down on the left.

This is a play that I am very proud to have worked on.

Really? Beast Light?

2005-08-24T13:22:00.000-04:00

I was watching "The Daily Show" this morning. And since I DVR it I was flying past those pesky commercials, and I thought I saw a Milwaukee's Best Light Ad. After a little rewind I realized I did see a Milwaukee's Best Light Ad.

The ad said "The Man's Beer" or something like that.

Now Beast is brewed by the Miller Brewing Co. and if you go to their website they don't even take credit for brewing the beer.

I was trying to come up with something witty to say about this commercial. But I think just the fact that there was a Milwaukee's Best Light Ad on television that they paid money for was comedy enough for me.

I bet if they took the couple million they used to make that commercial, and put it into the beer making process, they could make that Skunk/ Urine smell go away.

Thanks A Jo. I love you!

2005-08-23T20:03:00.000-04:00

In this post I talked about how I would get into "The Good Shepherd" staring Angelina Jolie, Matt Damon, and Robert DeNiro, without standing in line.

Just as a follow up, I start filming next week.

Make your own conclusions.

I Didn't Do English Homework From 8th Grade Until I Graduated High School

2005-08-23T12:43:00.000-04:00

This post is for me, since I don't know when to use these words correctly.

Q. What is the difference between then and than?

A. These two words are quite different! Their only similarity is in the way they sound. Than is used to compare or contrast things, as in "He is a lot smaller than his older brother." Then refers to time or consequence: "And the Canaanite was then in the land" (Gen. xii. 6.); "If all this be so, then man has a natural freedom" (Locke). So if one thing follows or results from another, use then.

Than is also used before a pronoun, as in "Paul loves pizza more than me."

LaGOONa Beach

2005-08-23T00:08:00.000-04:00

I think that Laguna Beach is becoming an excuse for grown men to lust after high school girls.

Not me of course. I watch it to see if Jessica will, finally, dump Jason.

I like Mashups like David Cho like Mashed Potatoes

2005-08-22T23:46:00.000-04:00

This is my review of the AmsterJAM. The August 20th, 2005 concert on Randall's Island in NYC. The first Mashup festival ever.

I will do this by band.

Fat Joe: didn't see him.

Hector El Bambino: didn't see him.

Garbage: This is where I came in. I was never a Garbage fan when they were popular in the late 90's but I was interested in seeing them. Other than Shirley Manson being extremely cute, they put on a pretty good show. They did a mashup with Peaches, whom I have come to learn is this trashy electronica queen. I was fascinated by the Shake Your Dix song. I may buy a Peaches album.

Wyclef: Was amazing. He hypnotized the entire crowd with cover songs and old Fugees songs. He was by far the best entertainer of the day. The only person that the crowd begged not to leave.

311: I liked "Down" when I was a Freshman in high school, but I didn't follow 311. After seeing them live I will listen to them more often. 311 mashed with Wyclef.

Snoop Dogg: I wasn't thrilled. Morgan pointed out that Hip Hop stars are hard to watch in concert because they rarely ever do the entire song.

I think that Snoop is the king of Call and Answer.

Everybody say: Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yay

Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yay

Imagine that for 3 minutes.

The best part about Snoop's set was Diddy coming on stage and smoking a blunt then returning to backstage.

Red Hot Chili Peppers: I saw them in 1999 about a month before Californication came out. They did pretty much the same concert. Mostly stuff from that album. One Blood Sugar Sex Magic song. Give It Away. Then the mash with Snoop was more of a Jam than a mash.

I give the concert a B minus. More structured mashups would have made for a better show. Instead of Snoop saying Freddie's Dead and Anthony Keidis saying Freddie's Dead? over and over. How about a little Gin and Juice mixed with Suck My Kiss?

Still, I will go to next years AmsterJAM, if there is one.

Would You Want To Sit Next To Him?

2005-08-19T08:07:00.000-04:00

Now I am not supposed to be awake right now so that is why this post is going to be a little offensive.

I was reading the news, particularly this article, about a young disabled boy that was kicked out of a movie theater for laughing too loud.

I would say that 99.9% of the world, if you were in a manager position at a movie theater, and if you asked someone to leave for being too loud, and if that person's parent's replied he was disabled, would than apologize profusely, and leave that person alone.

The manager in this case was only doing what 99.9% of the world would think in their heads when they hear someone laughing like Bobby DeNiro in Cape Fear.

If I am on a date, that's $20.50 for tickets, and another $20 for food. $40.50, I should get a silent movie theater.

In summation: Rent the kid a Chilly Willy DVD and he can laugh at a penguin as loud as he wants and no one will kick you out of the theater. Prevention is the key.

Stop Complaining, You Bitch!

2005-08-18T13:00:00.000-04:00

This is pretty funny.

I think people's humor is getting more and more random. And I like that.

Maybe "sexist tagger" and "bitch dog guy" should get together?

Im Gonna Get Me A Shotgun and Kill All the Whiteys I See

2005-08-17T19:44:00.000-04:00

Hillary Duff is releasing a Greatest Hits album without a #1 Hit.

FUCK YOU HILARY!

Blog Retraction, Retraction

2005-08-17T18:42:00.000-04:00

It seems that the "sexist tagger" may be going around the city.

I am going back and saying that it WAS West 4th street that I saw the puzzling tag on Steve Carell's forehead.

But it seems that it is also on the 14th street posters that thedavidcho.com reported to me about.

I want to know who did it!

Let me know if you see it anywhere else.

Blog Retraction

2005-08-17T11:43:00.000-04:00

In the last post I said that I saw the poster in the West 4th Street subway station. thedavidcho.com has informed me that I was in the 14th Street station, not the West 4th.

While there is a chance that there is a guy going to each poster and writing the same thing, I think the comedy is what is important, not the station.

What Does It Mean?

2005-08-16T23:13:00.000-04:00

Above is a recreation of a poster I saw in the West 4th Subway station. I am not quite sure what made the person write it, but if it was to make me laugh out loud: Mission Acomplished!

Goodbye Maggie Moo

2005-08-13T09:45:00.000-04:00

This morning I was woken up by my Mom frantic saying that my dog had been hit by a car and we had to go to the animal hospital.

When we pulled up John, my step dad, held up her collar and it was, somehow, the most perfect way for him to tell us.

He is a man of so few words I don't think we have had more than a five minute conversation since I was 14. So with one simple gesture I could see his grief, and humanity, shining through his gruff exterior.

There was a point in my life that I thought some pretty awful things about John. But he is a person. And seeing him with tears in the corners of his eyes betrays his facade.

I will remember Maggie as being crazy, and as the dog that bit my thumb so hard I had to go to the hospital.

Though I don't live in Maryland and my grief has been short, I still loved her. And with my belief that, everything happens for a reason. Maybe it took Maggie's passing as a way to make me feel more of a connection to the man that has been in my life since I was little, yet never really took the time to think of as a man.

"Oh Maggie I couldn't have tried any more
You lured me away from home just to save you from being alone
You stole my heart and that's what really hurt"- Rod Stewart Maggie May

Spike Yelled at Me

2005-08-09T17:41:00.000-04:00

I was going to post about the soul crushing day I had on the Macy's shoot, but I had such a great day on the Spike Lee movie yesterday I don't want to think about Macy's anymore.

The energy on the set of Inside Man was amazing and I was really impressed with how much fun everyone was having.

I attribute that fun to the amount of speeding cars and large firearms that were in the SWAT team scene we were filming. I was playing a Wall Street business man that just happened to be walking in front of the Bank that was being robbed in the movie.

We were filming the scene for probably the 15th take and Katie and I had wandered over to a fire hydrant and were sitting down when Spike Lee looked at us and yelled "BACK TO 1!" Which for non actors means back to started position.

Now, I know that had already been called but it had been called 20 minutes before and honestly I forgot. I don't think Mr. Lee was mad that we were sitting there. Just wanted to prove a point that he was in charge.

It was awesome.

Denzel wasn't there, but I think he was there in spirit.

And if you want to call people like Spike Lee calls people, get your assistant to buy you a Black RAZR phone.

Is That Melted Snow Or Sweat?

2005-08-06T10:02:00.000-04:00

I have recently signed with an awesome agency that can get me small parts in movies and commercials and TV work. So I have made the correct next step in the Pitfall game that is acting.

One minute after signing with them, I was booked on a Macy's commercial. I was told to call in at 10pm on Friday to get the information.

I call in and there is some very interesting information. We are shooting at Macy's at 3am. That part didn't bother me. Shoots are at all times of the day. What kind of bothered me is the dress was "late fall/ winter".

New York has been going through some serious Heat Waves, and though one broke yesterday its still going to be 73 degrees at 3 am. And I am wearing a P coat, scarf and hat.

So next time you are watching those Christmas commercials remember the actors who died of heat stroke to make you feel all warm in fuzzy inside.

Just so everyone knows I am not complaining I am actually really excited to do this commercial!
There is an actor story that goes around about Dolly Parton on Steel Magnolias. Julia Roberts was sitting with Dolly on a porch on a hot day and Julia just kept complaining about them making her wait for the shot and how hot it was and she said right Dolly. And Dolly said " I've waited my whole life to get here, now that I'm here I'm not going to complain about it."

I'm not sure how true that story is, but in any case that's how I plan to pattern my career.

Tip #14 : Parachute Pants Can Never Be Too Big

2005-08-03T10:36:00.000-04:00

On my way to an audition today I saw a young man reading a book. That book was Sinbad's Guide to Life.

I wondered if the guy reading, who looked about 19, knew who Sinbad was. I wondered if it was Sinbad's son just spending some time with dear departed Dad.* I wondered if he was reading it because he thought it was funny, or because he was actually learning about life. (Because obviously Sinbad knows everything.)

I guess the only thing he didn't know was how to keep his career going after he made Good Burger.

* Sinbad may still be alive.

Memories, like the corner of my Stomach

2005-08-02T21:04:00.000-04:00

I found this picture, and I am embarrassed.

The Miseducation of Shad Moss

2005-07-28T13:27:00.000-04:00

Bow Wow is not going to college because he says he is "too busy".

Instead he will focus on his rap career. On his new album he attempts to relate to the people who buy his album by rapping about Money and Urban Problems.

Both of which the 13 year old girls that buy the album won't be able to relate to.

"I ain't tryin' to go out like Todd Bridges off Different Strokes
I was born to rock, born to rhyme
What you lookin' at is somethin' that's before their time."

Good Luck Shad

Too Bad For GoBots

2005-07-27T19:19:00.000-04:00

Voltron is being made into a movie now along the same line as the Transformers movie. There is a Smurf movie, a He-Man movie, and a Ninja Turtle Movie all with a greenlight.

Pretty soon Movie Nostalgia is going to sweep theaters as people in their Mid-Twenties rush to see these childhood gems.

For all of you that are excited about these movies I have two words for you.

Fat Albert.

"Baby Got Back...packs" !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

2005-07-25T22:56:00.000-04:00

I was watching another great episode of the worst reality show ever, Hell's Kitchen, and all of the sudden I heard "Baby Got Back" playing.

I should explain I was so interested in the episode of Hells Kitchen that I was researching a blog post about Christian Video Games so I wasn't really watching.

But when I turned to look at the Television, to my horror, I saw small children dancing to "Baby Got Back! (packs!)" The new Target Commercial.

These kids have become Targets alright, Targets of Sexual exploitation.

Anyone who has been around a college girl for a night of drinking knows that the lyrics to "Baby Got Back" are no "Baby Beluga" or "Skinamarinkeedinkeedink."

The booty dancing children can be seen in all their shocking glory here, just click on the back to school video.

Shame on you Target, I will never jokingly say your name in a French accent ever again, because there is nothing funny about Smut Peddling.

.

I Swear I Saw Her Doing the Macarena

2005-07-24T21:49:00.000-04:00

What we have all been waiting for, the announcement of The New Ms. Wheelchair America.

I don't normally link to news like other blogs. But this was too good.

I like the part about Miss Wisconsin. I also enjoy that the job of Ms. Wheelchair America is to
"[Raise] awareness about issues related to living with disabilities ".

As if I wasn't aware of you making me wait 15 extra minutes while you get on the bus.

Give A Hoot... Don't Be an Over The Top Ozone Killer

2005-07-21T19:51:00.000-04:00

For anyone that lives in Harlem that reads this, which is only 2 people, you might know how people in Harlem stay cool.

One way is they have AC. The other is they don't and they "stoop it". No I was not phonetically sounding out Stupid. "Stooping it" is sitting on the stoop of your building because it's cooler outside than in your apartment.

And the last way is the reason for my blog. People sit in their car with the AC on. You can walk down the street and see no less then 5 groups of people crammed in a Mini Van staying cool.

The environmental impact of this is obvious, but here is where people really are "Stoop it".

I was walking by a mini van and I saw a woman blasting her AC with the windows open. On top of that she was spraying an aerosol air freshener to, I can only guess, try to freshen up the neighborhood.

She officially started the second hole in the ozone layer.

Please help out after reading this. Go turn off your lights for a few hours and erect a solar generator.

The Most Immature Post

2005-07-20T16:39:00.000-04:00

Today at my restaurant we had a Mexican Breakfast. And this caused some unwanted intestinal problems.

But, I don't know if you know this, New York City is really crowded. And I could not walk down the sidewalk with out someone right behind me or within earshot.

Has this ever happened to anyone else?

It was really frustrating.

Let's Twist Again, Like We Did At Shabbat Dinner Last Friday Night

2005-07-19T12:00:00.000-04:00

Last night I was witness to one of the most surreal moments in my life.

I was working on a party for Mayor Giuliani. He was hosting a benefit for Prostate Cancer. There were a lot of society people there. Carson from Queer Eye was gaying it up.

But the guest that made the biggest impression on me was Chubby Checker.

In the 1960's Chubby changed the dancing world with one Verb. Twist.

There was a stand up comic from Australia, and also these three opera singers called The Three Waiters. Who dressed up like waiters and sang Opera. One pretending to be French the other Italian, and I didn't get the other ones ethnicity.

After these opera singers put ona show, it was time for Chubby to make a few words.

He began thanking the different races the three Opera singers were stereotyping. The French the Italian, and then things took a turn when he decided to do a little tribute to , as he called them, "the Jews."

He thanked the Jews for helping his music career and then began to sing Hava Nagila in almost perfect Hebrew.

So I would also like the thank "the Jews" for helping Chubby along, which can, in turn, help my blog along.

Mozeltov!

And sorry for the artwork above, I don't have Photoshop, so all my offensive parodies look like I am submitting them to Hot or Not.

Harry Potter and the Harlem Marauder

2005-07-17T19:38:00.000-04:00

My roommate, David, had $80 stolen from him today. The man said that he ruined his four month supply of Hydroxycut, and that David needed to pay for it.

And even though that is scary for David. It is kind of funny to think of a mugger that is so insecure about his own body image he wants to use Hydroxycut.

David, maybe the guy needed to lose weight more than you needed your hard earned money.

Edward Chocolatehands

2005-07-13T00:23:00.000-04:00

If any of the indicators are correct, this Johnny Depp chocolate movie with be at least 2 times as good as the last Johnny Depp chocolate movie.

Ashton's Magnum Opus or How Come Ashton Was Never on Beauty and the Geek?

2005-07-10T01:56:00.000-04:00

After Tom Cruise got squirt in the face with water it made me think that I want to see bigger and better "punk"ings.

So I thought it would be hilarious if when Britney Spears was having her baby if Ashton's head popped out of her vagina and told her she had been Punkd.

Thanks

2005-07-07T17:07:00.000-04:00

Because of what happened today in London my bus to work was stopped 3 times for safety checks. And without any sarcasm I'd like to thank the NYPD for protecting me.

I am not riding the subway anymore, unless I have to.

And if one more person tells me if you don't ride the subway the terrorists win I'll punch them in the mouth. If there is a bomb on a train there is a chance that you will just be in a car that derails and get buried. And that is a slow death. And to that I say no thank you.

Dear Mr. Kelly,

2005-07-06T16:07:00.000-04:00

Thank you for Trapped in the Closet. It's amazing.

Love,
David

Thou Shalt Not Wait in Line

2005-07-06T13:36:00.000-04:00

Today I went to audition for background work with these kids, and there were about 400 people waiting in line to be an extra. That's 400 people trying to get a job that pays $75 dollars a day.

I did not stand in line. I figure I can just sleep with Angelina to get into the movie.

God Bless My Skull Cap

2005-07-06T00:30:00.000-04:00

Trying something out.

Guilt Post

2005-07-06T00:17:00.000-04:00

I am getting back to this because of my roommate. I should make it clear, I was only told once to update by him. But I know he thinks about it everyday.

My prediction for Fantastic Four. Fantastic BORE.

It will be entertaining, but there will be no Fantastic Five.

Celebrity Trials

2005-03-07T15:23:00.000-05:00

The celebrity trials of the 21st century don't even come close to the trials of the 20th. Let's start with the crap we are dealing with now. Martha Stewart. Who cares. Robert Blake. Guilty. Michael Jackson, Jay Leno has this joke covered.

But the 20th century MAN!... The John Scopes "monkey" trial! Man came from Monkeys not from Adam??? Mind Blowing!

The Lindbergh Trial. Did you know the defense summation was 5 hours long. And the defense lawyer did it drunk! HOLY SHIT!

OJ Simpson. Was awesome in Naked Gun.

These are just a few but I think 20th century crime blows the 21st century away.So to the future celebs. Step it up.

Raven Simone- maybe you could kill someone.

Next post: Does any White person get the concept of Diary of a Mad Black Woman?

Dear Blog,

2005-02-28T14:26:00.001-05:00

I promise that from this day on I will write in you at least once a week.

I love you,

David

Keenan Thompson had to Lose 25 Lbs to Play "Fat Albert"

2004-12-27T01:33:00.000-05:00

Today I looked at CD's at Circuit City, and I realized that I haven't looked at CD's in a long time.

Most of the albums they had were Rap. But I didn't know the artists. And the only reason I knew they were rap because they all had the Rap Font. The same font started in 1999 by The Notorious P. D.I.D.D.Y.

But then I started coming across bands that had Greatest Hits Albums. Bands that I remember "hitting the scene."
So I picked up Guns and fucking Roses' Greatest Hits Album which is basically Jock Jams 2004. And I got Pearl Jam's greatest hits.

Did you know the song Daughter was written because Eddie Vedder was born a girl but his parents made him have a sex change operation when he was a baby. So it's like him saying "Don't call me daughter, cause I'm a guy now." (may or may not be true )

It kind of makes me feel old but then again 311 has a greatest hits album and when they started I already knew Steve Will.

From now on if I make a reference to past occurrences in my life I will use Steve Will as my Barometer.

BW or AW. Before Will, or After Will.

If you don't know who Steve Will is, your loss.

Next Post: Going to the Release Party of Lohan's Greatest Hits Album

To: The Irish. Happy Wren Day!

2004-12-26T01:06:00.000-05:00

I was driving from my Grandmother's house to my Dad's house for the second of the three houses I had to visit today, and I had some very serious thoughts.

I passed an orphanage, and all of the sudden the money and gifts I got that day seemed almost obseen to me. Christmas in a middle class suburban family is either a good Christmas or a bad one, depending on money dolled out that year for whatever. But if you are in an orphanage, you count on the donations of others to make it a good Christmas.

This is all a little too heavy for me, I think the idea is I am going to do more volunteer work in 2005. Resolution #1.

Can you

I wrote can you above and got distracted by an IM and I can't remember what I was going to say. I am going to just end this Christmas Day 2004.

Next post: W.C. Fields the Smart Ass Comedian Died on Christmas, What a Smart Ass

ps. spell check is broken sorry if things are wrong, God! I'm not an English major get off my back asshole.

Favorite Carol: "I'll Be Home for at Least Five out of Eight Days of Chanukah"

2004-12-24T23:56:00.000-05:00

I am in Baltimore for the Holiday weekend and I have to say it's about time. These weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas were dreadfully long. And it all stems from my job. I'll explain.

My General Manager is a terrible person.

Today, Christmas Eve mind you, we all come in to work the lunch shift where we have eleven reservations on the books. So right away everyone knows that it's going to be a slow day. But there are still six servers on and four bussers. Too many people.

One of the bussers is George. A Hispanic man probably in his 30's. He is a good worker and a nice guy.

Now my GM has this no cell phone rule. And George has a cell phone. Do you see where this is going.

So George goes into the bathroom and is talking loudly for 10 min on his phone in Spanish and the GM goes into the bathroom to wash his hands and hears him.

Silly George. You are going to get written up.

WRONG.

YOU ARE FUCKING FIRED! ON CHRISTMAS EVE!

WHAT?

Why the fuck did my GM think that is was a good idea to fire this man on Christmas Eve? It was awful. I seriously couldn't believe I was seeing such an act of cold hearted malice from a human to another human on this day. Even if you aren't Christian which my GM made it clear to us that he wasn't. The thought of presents the next day should make you not want to fire a man with kids and a family the day before Christmas.

Merry Christmas George. I'm sure you'll find a better job.

And to my GM...
Merry Christmas to you too.

Next Post: Two Lists: Good Gifts, Bad Gifts

First Post and Frenchie Davis

2004-12-11T01:41:00.000-05:00

Ok. Dave's blog version 4.0. We will see how this goes.

I have been away from writing anything for a while now but I can't stay quiet anymore! I have been going crazy with a more then generous helping of bullshit lately. And I am going to say that Frenchie Davis was the one that pushed me over the edge.

On Friday night I took Morgan to see RENT. "Staring" Drew Lachey and the aforementioned Ms. Davis. At the end of the show I was expecting to hear the standard Broadway Cares speech. And in case you don't know what that is check it out it's a great cause. But instead Frenchie does a speech about another charity that gives out letters that children write to Santa and you mail them a gift that they have asked for.

OK.

So Morgan and I are leaving and I ask her if she would like to participate in this act of charity. Now if you don't know us we are NOT rich. This is my house. You get the point. So Morgan says no she won't do it. All of the sudden Frenchie is right next to us and over hears Morgan say "I won't do it." And she makes a bitch face and says, "That's a shame." and does a head cock that's hard to describe then she storms out of the theater. Now this upset Morgan a little because she was just saying that she would rather not take a child's dream out of that box and crush it by not being able to afford the gift they want.

Now lets analyze this.

We are in the house going out the main exit. Not the stage door. Why is it that Ms. Davis is going out the same door as I and not the stage door. Ok let' give her the benefit of the doubt and say that the theater doesn't have a stage door. There were people that paid 100 bucks to see her perform why is she not staying to fulfill their Christmas dream of a picture and autograph with their favorite American Idol Reject/porn "actress"/ Broadway "actress." Terms all used loosely.

The point is if you know Frenchie, pass on this Blog to her and tell her to contact me with an apology. When I start making money with my gigantic tits. I will give money to every charity I can. But for now I will choose what charities I can afford to give to. And I am serious somebody get this to her!

Next entry: Who Let the Dogs Out? is from Who Let the Dogs Out!